Why Nothing Ever Feels Finished Anymore

Nothing in my life feels fully finished right now.

My home and my life feel like chaos.

That’s the conclusion I came to this week.

I don’t know if it’s because I’ve got yet another cold but there are too many half-arsed projects, creative ideas I haven’t finished, jobs around the house that are neither started or completed and parenting tasks that just sit there.

Some of them are the kind of things that, once they’re done, I’d never have to think about them again and others are the kind that would make life easier in the long run.

And yet… they just sit there.

I’m talking about the draws I keep meaning to empty, bathroom cupboards that need sorting, outdated medicine that should’ve been thrown away months ago and paperwork that needs shredding or filing.

And speaking of paperwork, why am I still getting bank statements? I’ve signed up to be paperless…this is what I’m talking about!
So now I’ve got another job to add to the list..

It’s not just one thing - It’s everything.

Then there are the things that actually matter.

Making time to help my little ones move onto the next stage or ordering new shoes because they’ve suddenly gone up a size.
Realising they need shorts for school because the weather has finally decided to sort its self out.

And somewhere in the middle of all this, there’s me.

The things I want to do, such as colour my hair, do some yoga in the morning or have a bit of creative time so I feel like myself again, not just someone reacting to everything around me.

Earlier in the week, I said to myself, maybe I just need to be more organised?

…But here’s the thing, I am pretty organised. I don’t actually know how I could be any more organised than I already am.

So if I am organised… why does everything still feel unfinished?

The only answer that makes sense is, there’s too much.

Too many things in my home.
Too many small, invisible tasks attached to everything I own and everything I’ve started.

It feels like an irritating noise humming in the background of your mind constantly, reminding you of what’s not finished. It follows you from room to room and it especially loves to bother you when your trying to relax.

When all you really need is a little bit of space to think and right now that space feels… rare.

I recently stumbled across an article by Megan Schnarr and a YouTube video by Dr Faye Bate (both linked below) They’re brilliant, but more than that, they offer something actually useful.

30 unconventional ways I regulate my nervous system (this isn’t your typical list)

They both mention about reducing decision making and how that, in itself, makes it easier to follow through and get things done.

And I can’t stop thinking about that idea - reducing decisions.

Now, I’m not going to overhaul everything and I‘m not suddenly becoming a minimalist or begin throwing half my house away, but I am going to start noticing what’s creating work just by being there.

What’s adding another decision, task or I hate to say it, an open loop, because I need to start closing some of them.

With less decisions, fewer loose ends, and reduced things waiting in the background, I might actually finish something without ten other things pulling at me.

So this is where I’m at as we head into a new week, because right now, it feels like a good place to start.